w(h)ine wednesday

I am so burnt out! :(

I started a new assignment a week ago, and I thought my life was going to get a little bit easier.

But I was wrong.

First, the day before I transitioned to my new job, I was informed I would be receiving a pay cut, $2 an hour less than what I negotiated to even accept and sign for this job LESS than 1 YEAR ago!  Add that to my being cut from 40 standard hours to 30!

Then, when I showed up at my new gig on Wednesday morning, I found out I was not starting my non-traveling, one-building-a-day, 7-hour day job that I was offered months ago (all after weeks of being constantly told I wasn't "productive" enough).  I was expecting to be in at 7am and done by 4, and was thrilled.  NOPE.  Instead, I am splitting two buildings... every day..... for the next month.  And they failed to tell me.  Until the day of.

NOW, we are told that we have to submit all time off requests (to use OUR OWN paid vacation time that WE "earn") 4-6 months in advance.  In my opinion, they should have to give me 4 months in advance when they cut my hours, cut my pay, and take my position away.

I am the most stressed out I have been since the first month of my job.  And I can't chalk it up to being new at my assignment or because it's a change in routine.  There is hard evidence of how poorly we are treated as employees, not to mention, I have been working 11-12 hour days, and getting paid for 7-8 hours.

I was in an "exploration" phase awhile ago in regards to jobs, and now I am in full on search mode.

My anniversary is October 31, and I get all my unused vacation and sick time paid back to me in the next paycheck after that, so I am doing my best to hold out until the end of the month.

I am so sad, because I seriously love what I do.  It is depressing that in order to work with clientele who I love, I have to work for a business that is relying on income from a very poor client who is trying to tighten their purse strings (Medicare).

I really love my patients, even the difficult ones.  I love my work and the difference I make.  I adore my coworkers.  I loved my old patients and old job and old coworkers even more than this one.  I almost feel like I let them down by agreeing to leave and I still have a little regret about whether it was the right thing to do.

I finally had to cave to all the pressure of the business behind healthcare, and leave somewhere where the work being done was good work.  I have to give up what I love for the sake of my sanity.  So depressing.

But the countdown begins... 22 days until my anniversary, 30 days until my direct deposit appears with all my unused vacation pay, 33 days until I put in my two weeks notice, and 45 until I'm free from the stress. :-\

What's next?  Tonight, it's drinking a glass of wine and filling out more job applications, and Friday I'm shadowing at a pediatric clinic!  There is so much still up in the air and I'm not sure what my next direction will be... but I am excited to take the next steps.  Cheers to that!