saying goodbye

So, I'm just gonna come right out and say it.

The thing that really sucks about working in healthcare... especially with the geriatric population... is that people die.

I've been an occupational therapist almost one full year. I have seen a handful of patients come and go in my short tenure.  I haven't ever cried, but I have felt increased amounts of hurt with certain special people, based on relationships established, or the amount of time I knew them, or because I felt connected to them in some way, or because they remind me of someone else in my life...

One thing I have loved about working in the retirement community, is that after I discharge patients, I still get to see them!  Sometimes I see them every day.  Sometimes I even hug them and talk to them every day!  I always tell people I have a hundred Grandmas and Grandpas.  It really feels like that sometimes!

It's also helpful when they need therapy again, because I know right where we left off before and it's so easy to get back into things and put together their plan of care and have an idea of where they will need to get back to.  It is also beneficial for the residents that we know them so well, because then they get just that little bit better attention because we don't have to start from scratch in getting to know them and their families.  Our whole department gets worried when we hear someone isn't well, or has gone out to the hospital or the SNF... and then when they come back we share in the joy that they have gotten better (and probably get to come to therapy again!). There is an extra level of community when you work at a place like this, and I love it.  But it does make it sad when someone has to go...

This week, I was the one leaving.  I obviously have not died.  But, I won't be in their lives anymore.

I am taking a new assignment within my company, and working at a new building.  I think it's pretty special to be able to actually say goodbye.  Last night, I slaved away in the kitchen making snickers apple pie and 7-layer greek dip, and writing personalized notes to each of my coworkers to say goodbye and to say thank you.  And... "hope to see you soon!"

(Greek dip with pita chips... so yummy)

Snickers Apple Pie

But lots of the people who I suddenly stop seeing regularly, didn't get that chance to say "goodbye".  We didn't get to throw a going away party or go out for lunch or a walk "one last time."  I think about certain patients I'm really close with or see regularly, and sometimes I think about how they could be gone at any moment... I could go to my new job tomorrow morning and get a text and find out my Mr. M or Mr. C or Mrs. P have had a stroke or a heart attack or passed away.  Some of them I spend as much time with as I do with my coworkers!  It is going to be so hard to not know how certain ones are doing... or checking in with one when I need a laugh or a pick-me-up... or a hug.

I just can't say enough about hugs.

Why can't all people have fun going away parties to say their very last goodbye?