Wednesday, July 31, 2013

wednesday waitlist

Today = My 9-month anniversary with my job!  And that means... sign-on/retention bonus! (I'm so thankful for this little boost with the recent changes and cuts in hours and such)  But because of the pay cycles it's 16 days = I actually get it.

3 days = My grad-school friend K's wedding.  I'm so excited for this weekend!  We met when we started OT school almost exactly three years ago and she was such a great friend to me throughout grad school... and now we're colleagues.  She is a people magnet and has amazing friends, which I have gotten to adopt as my friends too!  It's gonna be a great wedding.

8 days = The boy takes step 2 and I get to stop hearing about it (at least until grad school starts in a couple weeks and the busy-ness and unavailability starts back again).  Sooo this was originally supposed to be tomorrow... Today I go to wish him "good luck" for tomorrow and I find out it's actually next week.  Does he realize I'm counting this down also?  I better not tell him... he hates when I try to "plan".

10 days = The next time I get to see the boy, though I'm not "planning".......... ok yes I am.  I have a list of things I want to do on my iPhone.

16 days = Nashville Asheville trip for one of my best friend's 30th birthday.  This was originally supposed to be Nashville, where I've never been, and my other best guy friend was supposed to be coming from St. Louis, however plans changed a little bit.  I'm still excited for Asheville because I've never been, and my friend P whose birthday it is has been one of the most loyal friends I've ever had! It is him, his serious girlfriend, and 5 or 6 other guys... even though we're short on girls, I think I actually like that better!

20 days = The boy starts back up with grad school and I'm not sure what to really expect.  I think he thinks it's going to be significantly easier for him than the last three years have been, but the closer it gets, the more skeptical I am that that will be the case.  It is an accelerated masters program for medical students, so I expect it to be pretty rigorous, since the students are the hardworking type.  It's also a different kind of work for him than what he was been doing... more reading, research, and paper writing versus rote studying and long exams.  Anyway, I need to relax and not get ahead of myself.  It's still 20 days away, B!

22 days = Flying to Ohio with my Grandma for the nuclear family "reunion" and my parents' 40th anniversary shindig.  It will be the immediate family, who sadly gets together just once a year!  This includes my 3 brothers, their wives, and one niece-- all in one house.  We're thrilled Grandma is going to make the trip (with me as her travel escort), she is excited too, and I can't wait for five whole days off of work!

I don't have any other events set in stone (or in pencil for that matter) past the last weekend in August, and part of me is nervous about that!  I love having things to look forward to... it keeps me going during difficult weeks.  I do know, however, that I have to make my Thanksgiving and Christmas plans (at least somewhat tentatively) by OCTOBER 11, per company policy.  That is crazy!  We're only allowed ONE day out of the days immediately surrounding Thanksgiving and Christmas.  That means, if we want the Friday after TG off, we have to work Christmas Eve AND the day after Christmas AND New Year's Eve/New Year's Day.  If we want Christmas Eve off, we'll have to work all the others adjacent days.  CRAZY!  Why so complicated?  Medicare reimbursement doesn't recognize holidays, and neither do illnesses or sick people who are trying to get better.  Therefore, therapy is still needed 5 days a week in our skilled nursing centers for all the patients.  No days off for illness/diseases/disabilities means no days off for therapists either!

But who knows... I may have an entirely different job by that time of year anyway...  If you want to make God laugh, make plans, right?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

rally thursday

Thursday is traditionally the cursed day of the week.

I remember my first Thursday of college.  After staying up till the wee hours finishing a reading assignment, I overslept, was 50 minutes late to my first chemistry lab, got stuck with a terrible lab desk location, I was completely lost the entire time and I'm pretty sure I cried at some point.  Subsequently I was late to my next class, and totally frazzled the rest of the day, and though I can't remember specific other details I know it was a rough one.  And because I hated chemistry so much, the hating Thursday thing became a trend that continued the rest of the quarter... and the year... and forever.  My roommate at the time, who is now one of my best friends and lives in the same city as me, also had an equally terrible day that first Thursday.  It didn't take long for us to determine that Thursdays were indeed cursed, and we dreaded the stroke of midnight on that day each week.  Something terrible would always happen. I mean, oversleeping for a class isn't that big of a deal, but way worse things always seemed to happen on Thursdays...

Thursday is the day it rains when you are dressed nicely and didn't bring your umbrella.
Thursday is the day there's a pop quiz after the one night you skipped the reading assignment.  Thursday is the day you get dumped.
Thursday is the day you have a million things to do school- or work-related and have to miss out on social plans you never normally have.
Thursday is the day you get put on the spot at work regarding your performance.

In the spirit of being more positive and proactive about my life, I decided I'm going to try to start posting every Thursday about one GOOD thing that happened that day, for rally Thursday.  For one, Thursday is the day before Friday.
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Today, it was a moment with a one of my "regulars", a 91 year old resident in assisted living.  He is such a charmer!  He's got a great sense of humor and just makes you fall in love with him.  He can have his grumpy moments and times when he doesn't want to do his therapy... but all in all he is a huge sweet heart and we have developed a great rapport since I started treating him 9 months ago.

He comes to me twice a week for "maintenance therapy", and usually I just do passive range of motion for his shoulders and hands, some light strengthening, and we'll sometimes do an activity that's more fun and more active for him.  Lately, we've been playing a lot of balloon badminton while he sits on the edge of the mat, because it gets him moving his whole body (he spends a lot of time in a power wheelchair or in bed, so he doesn't get opportunities to challenge his ability to hold himself up in his normal daily routine...), working both his arms, for range of motion, strength and coordination.  But it's also working his brain because while he's playing the game, we're always chit chatting about something or joking around.

During a particularly aggressive badminton volley, he says,
"Wow, this will really take the wrinkle out of your belly."

Me: (cracking up) "What?? I've never heard that before... what's that mean?"

"Well I mean it's a good work out....  I'm stretching my belly muscles... It's good exercise!"

"Hey, now you're talking like a therapist!"

"No... I'm not a therapist... I'm a sexist....... I'm thinking about sex."

It took me a couple minutes to recover from that silent laugh where you are so overwhelmed with hilarity that you feel like you can't breathe and no sounds comes out, while you nearly fall out of your chair (in today's case, his power wheelchair)...

Aaaaaand we're ready for Friday, folks!  Hope you all get a chance to rally for the weekend ahead!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

sometimes it's fun to make a mess because then you get to clean it up

So I left work today and went straight to Staples.  I needed an organization and office supply fix.

So I bought these...

And turned this...

Into this...

And finally, into this...


9 months of accumulation of print outs and forms... assessments... home exercise programs... saved documents... pictures of adaptive equipment... patient education handouts... notes from continuing ed... and more.  All of this stuff was located in about 4 different places in the clinic where I work, with absolutely no order or organization.  Even for the handouts or materials that I use the most frequently, I would still go online to find the original and print out a brand new copy instead of using one of the five copies I already had... hiding in a pile of papers under a book or stuck in a clipboard.

And now... after one night of hole punching, sorting, and paper clipping I have this!


I love it!  A Monday night well spent.  I feel just a little more organized, a little more prepared, and a little more equipped to take on the rest of my week.

Some of my reason for doing this stems from the fact that the last couple weeks I have been a huge grumpy pants.  I finally realized it had a lot to do with the low morale at work, especially with two of my immediate coworkers who are pretty buddy-buddy, and the outspoken type.  (They have worked together for a pretty long time, and are the two that have worked for this company the longest in our network of 5 or 6 buildings.)  I realized that the bad attitudes were contributing to bringing me down, along with having few social supports outside of work, along with the stress of all the changes and cut backs with my job...  I have had a lot of questions about whether I am growing enough in my first year as a therapist, and majorly questioning how long I will continue to stay at this job.

What I finally needed to realize, is that this isn't just a job-- this is my whole career.  This might not be a long-term situation, but that doesn't mean I won't continue to grow from it in preparation for my next job.  I decided that instead of coming home and complaining to my mom and to the boy every night, I needed to refocus my energy to more positive things.  Especially with all this extra time I have on my hands, now that I'm on a shorter work schedule (decreased to 30 hours starting this week) and date somebody who is 2 hours away and all.

Since our company provides a lot of free online continuing ed courses, I decided I'm going to try to do one course per week.  I did a course on hands the other night, and it was only about 3 hours and a really good refresher on some things I hadn't seen since first year of OT school.

I also decided to put some effort into organizing all my random OT stuff, and the first step of that was this binder.  This specific grouping of resources is going to be primarily for use at work.  It has copies of assessments that I use regularly, and good quick reference materials for when I'm writing up an eval or have a tricky patient.

Other than that, I'd like to make a second OT binder with things from fieldwork/clinicals, and to make a better organized file for collecting continuing ed materials/certificates for when I need to renew my license and certification.  I also plan to update my resume.  My current one has the same formatting (as far as alignment and margins and fonts) since when I was applying for graduate school...   I realize the content is more important, but it really does need a good overall makeover.

I feel so much better going into this week with a proactive mindset, ready to tackle the challenges that come, and to ignore the negativity that has been pulling me down lately.  I'm getting my fire back!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

surprise

I was missing my boy. A lot.  It has only been two weeks since I last saw him, and lord knows we have put up with much longer periods apart.  Compared to last summer, we do talk a lot more frequently and for longer this time around.  Though we'll do a short phone call every so often, we are mostly texters.  Neither of us are big on talking on the phone "just because".  I think the pressure of talking everyday with your long distance partner can be a bad thing (especially if one of them doesn't like phone talking to begin with... and that is both of us).  Although when there is something actually important to have a conversation about, it certainly has its place and we are good about that.  (We're also little more chatty if one or both of us is a little under the influence.)  But yes, we are major texters.  And we have gotten each others' language down, for the most part, so misunderstandings are few.   We do talk a lot more regularly these days so that definitely helps to make it less hard to be apart.

The boy takes Step 2 in 11 days, so of course he is in intense study mode.  Compared to the days approaching Step 1 last year, he is MUCH more calm and less stressed, and he has been working really hard on some days in order to have some free time on other days to play golf or see friends or whatever.  I'm so glad he's letting himself do that, because I know he gets a little stir crazy during these times.  I don't put pressure on him to visit me or let me come there, especially since I just saw him two weeks ago, and because he thinks that if I drive 2 hours to see him that he owes me 100% of his attention and a fancy date and an extended amount of his time.  I really don't think 2 hours is that big of a deal, especially for me, because I have so much free time on my hands, and I would take an hour of sitting on the couch in silence with him over not seeing him at all.

The last couple of days we had been texting here and there joking about me coming over, but with the conversations ultimately ending in something like "Stop tempting me, you know you need to study tonight...".  But, I know that if I ask to come out or bug him about seeing each other, he will (a) feel bad about saying no and start dwelling on it, or (b) get frustrated that I keep asking him when I should know better that the answer is going to be no, or (c) retreat.

Which is why I decided I wouldn't ask to come out.
I would just do it.  And not tell him.  Until I was standing in front of him at his door.

I know he has been staying up really late some nights studying, and other nights quitting early to watch a movie or bum around.  So around 8 or so last night I sent a basic text asking whether he was staying up late studying, or quitting early because he'd been so productive yesterday.  I wanted to make sure he didn't have random plans or was going to be having a buddy over or something.  He confirmed; he'd be "burning the midnight oil."

Okay, I thought, I can work with that.  I'd show up around midnight and tell him that I would gladly sit and read quietly while he finished, or just go to sleep in his bed and leave him alone until he was done... and that I planned to be out the door by 8:00AM so I'd be out of his hair and he could start on his studying as planned the next day.

I hopped in the car around 10:00PM and started the drive.  I felt nervous the entire drive, worried whether I was doing the right thing sneaking up on him... or if his reaction would be more like response (b) above and he would be mad I interrupted his structured/planned/scheduled study time for the night.

As I walked up to the door, I peaked in the window to make sure he was sitting there in the living room in his usual spot.

He wasn't.  It was his brother and a friend.  Figuring he was upstairs in his room studying, I tried calling.  No answer.  Hmmmm  this is going to be a little awkward knocking on this door at midnight and asking if his brother is home...  Instead of being brave I went straight back to my car and took a moment to calm myself to prepare for a surprise moment that wasn't going to go down exactly as I rehearsed.

I finally went back and just knocked on the door and walked in.

"Hey! Is he home?"
"No....  he is gone for the night."
"ARE. YOU. SERIOUS."
"Oh no, were you trying to surprise him?"
"Yesss...... nooooooooooo."

 Evidently he'd had a change of plans and had gone out with some friends about 30 minutes away... Assuming he wouldn't be out late (because of the whole studying thing...) and would be coming back to the house, I figured I'd just hang out in his room and wait for him to get back.  I asked his brother not to say anything to him, because I still wanted it to be a surprise.

Laying on his bed watching TV I get a text... "I am so sorry...  my brother told me."

Three hours later, the boy came home and got his "surprise."  He felt awful for not telling me he'd had a change of plans, and for not just inviting me out in the first place, and I felt awful for not just telling him what I was doing.  Regardless, we were together.  So we got over that quickly and just tried to make the most of it.

It was 3AM after all, so we went to bed.  I love sleeping next to him.
We slept in late and snuggled in bed which is our favorite.  I love waking up next to him.
I sat next to him while he watched the golf tournament this morning.  I love doing nothing with him.
We made a brunch feast of eggs and turkey bacon and pancakes.  I love doing anything with him. 
We ate and talked and kissed and laughed.  I love him.

Even though it didn't quite go as planned, it was amazing just to get to spend some random, unplanned, normal time together.  When it was time for me to leave, I told him I felt like I have been so spoiled lately.  (This was the THIRD time we've seen each other in the last MONTH.  Unheard of.)  He said it's pretty sad that I think I'm "spoiled" for us seeing each other once every two weeks.

But hey, at this rate, maybe it won't be that hard to survive residency, especially if we take the long distance is out of the equation......... someday.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

an overlooked epidemic


Alzheimer's disease and dementia is a really difficult diagnosis and process for a lot of people to understand... I think because nobody really does understand it.  Nobody has really found a way to explain it that makes sense to people.  It's not really "physical" like how we see other illnesses and injuries.  I am around the impact of Alzheimer's all day, every day.  So sometimes I forget that it is uncomfortable for a lot of people to be around or to talk about.  I have a lot more to share on this topic.  However, for now I just want to share this short video.  I think it is very powerful and it shows how IMPORTANT it is to not just ignore this disease.  It doesn't impact just the individual, but has a huge impact on family and caregivers.  (Not to mention the economical impact... if medicare is struggling now, it better get it's act together for the coming 40 years...)  All members of the team matter: doctors, pharmacists, therapists, nursing assistants, social workers...  And even if you don't know anyone with Alzheimer's, there is a good chance it will impact you one day... maybe it affects a loved one, maybe it affects your taxes or insurance policy, or maybe it affects you.  It's time for people to get over that discomfort and fear about this disease and join us in the fight of working against it and working for these individuals.

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This all stems from attending an interdisciplinary continuing ed course on cognition and dementia today.   It was for Occupational Therapists (me), Speech Therapists, and Physical Therapists (and assistants).   Probably half of my caseload is individuals who live in "memory support units" and have true diagnoses of dementia in advanced stages.  Out of the rest, probably half of them also have dementia (diagnosed or undiagnosed) or mild cognitive impairment.  And to think that most people with dementia live in the community, not in facilities......  It is everywhere and will only continue to increase.

Even though I've heard all the information at the workshop a million times, it never hurts to hear it again, to brainstorm with other therapists and get some new ideas.  I'm really glad I went even though my Saturday disappeared.

The workshop was actually only for company employees, and so the presenters are experienced therapists who travel around to different company site in NC for staff development and such.  It was good to rub shoulders with some other therapists, in case I have to move around NC for any reason in the next couple of years (because I can think of one reason that might happen...).  At these kind of presentations there is always that awkward silence where they try to involve the attendees and ask questions and such... so I was "that girl" in the course who answered every question and volunteered examples.  Let's just say by the end of it, everybody in that room knew my name.  Never too early to brand yourself and make yourself known. :)


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

so much anticipation!

"“Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called."--A.A.Milne

The boy hates how much I plan ahead... (but I equally hate how much he doesn't). The feeling of anticipation and excitement about something that is going to happen is almost as good as the actual event!  That, and I'm obsessed with time and planning.  Today is Wednesday, and I'm already thinking about how on Friday I'll need to go to bed early and set my alarm clock so I can plan for Saturday.

I think I have every weekend accounted for from now until Labor Day... having things to look forward to is what keeps me going during some of these monotonous weeks.  This week has been particularly monotonous... but in some ways, that is good.  An easy, rote week is a nice change from last week's level of stress and hatred for medicare and workplace politics... but I digress.

I have had countdowns since I was a kid... I always had one for the last day of school (currently 0)... for Christmas (currently 5 months and 8 days)... and the next time I get to see the boy (currently unknown, as per usual).  Here are my current countdowns, laying out the next several weeks, and helping me survive the current one.

13 days = My 9-month anniversary retention bonus (praise the lord for this little boost with the recent changes)

15 days = The boy takes step 2 and I get to stop hearing "no" over and over in regards to seeing him (at least for a couple weeks...hopefully)

17 days = My grad-school friend K's wedding (which will be a blowout weekend with some awesome people because she has the best friends...)

24 days = The next time I get to see the boy (though I'm not "planning"..........)

30 days = Nashville trip with my best guy friends for one's 30th birthday (and just for the heck of it, as my closest guy BFF lives far away in St. Louis and I never get to see him!)

33 days = The boy starts back up with grad school and "no" starts again... on the other hand, this could also mean more frequent "yes"s with a somewhat lighter schedule.

35 days = Flying to Ohio with my Grandma for the nuclear family "reunion" and my parents' 40th anniversary shindig (my immediate family, meaning my 3 brothers, their wives, and one niece are all in one place but once per year, and we're thrilled Grandma is going to make the trip with me as her travel escort) and five whole days off of work!

43 days = Labor day weekend... which isn't an actual holiday in our company (what are those again?), but it does mark the day after which we're allowed to actually take time off again... girl needs a personal day, with no plans (ok lies, no plans except for all the boring grown up stuff that is impossible to accomplish when you work normal grown up hours).


In between these events I have two continuing ed courses that take up my Saturdays... but I really didn't think those deserved a countdown.  Fortunately, our company provides some occasional live continuing ed courses that are no cost for full time employees... which is pretty sweet, by the way, as these can be hundreds of dollars, and are required for yearly licensure... and because they help build your practice skills and keep us current with best practice.  One of them is a two-day course that I am pretty excited about... It is on physical agent modalities (electrical stimulation, ultrasound, short wave diathermy) with a lot of lab time and a focus on application to OT in our of setting... which I really need right now, but will make me look good to other employers when I have more training and experience in this.  The other is a full-day course this coming Saturday that is a nice two-hours drive away... wooommmmpppp.  The intimidating "clinical education specialists" in the company are encouraging everyone to take this course on cognition... and in light of all the cracking down and belt-tightening lately I figure it makes me look like a team player if I just suck it up and go to this.  This of course means leaving my house at 6:30 am on Saturday and missing my friend's baby's first birthday... sad sad sad day.  Free CEUs, however = a penny saved.

And the clock ticks!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

bad news or time for a new opportunity?

I found out today that in two weeks, my 40-hour position (covering one site) that was pitched to me this time last year is now being reduced to 30 hours (covering two sites).  On top of that, they expect that I will be working 5 6-hour days.  So, they essentially want to cut my pay by 25%, but can't cut me any slack to find a second job during normal week hours?  I do have the offer to float to other sites in the area as needed to fill in the other 10 hours, but back when I was working four buildings, I was insanely stressed and felt a lot of pressure to keep up with the demands of my home site.

This change is based on a lot of things, not the least of which is the tightened belt of medicare.  But that's another whole can of worms.  I work for a pretty large rehab company that staffs sites nationwide, so we have the whole economy of scale thing on our side against the stingy medicare peeps.  That being said, I do get paid a pretty dang good rate for a first-year therapist.  I have a pretty tricky caseload that requires me to do a lot of walking, a lot of waiting, and a whole heck of a lot of typing.  It's pretty tough to stay "efficient" when there are a lot of inefficient requirements to do my job... like, getting to where the patient is...  and, like, writing a saga (as one of my patients fondly called my erratic typing during her session) to medicare to say just exactly what it is I'm spending their money on (besides airline tickets and rent and cute clothes... jk... sorta).

To paint a mathematical picture... my employer expects me to perform at an "80%" efficiency level.  This means that in an 8 hour day, I should have completed about 6.5 hours of therapy treatments with different patients... In a 5-day week, that's 32 hours of patient visits. (Technically I could have a caseload of 12 residents, 3 times per week, for an hour each with some leeway, but in reality it simply doesn't ever play out this way).  That means in a 30 hour week, I'll be expected to log 24 hours.  I hate to say it, but 24 hours of patients is about how much I've been logging in 40-hour week.

So essentially I was told today that I need to be doing the same amount of work I have been doing, except a lot faster, a lot more poorly and sloppily, and get paid 25% less for it.

Let's look at the challenges in a typical day.  I'll round down to 6 hours treatment/day to make it more simple.  2 hours of extra "non productive" time seems pretty substantial... but it fizzles away very very quickly.  6 hours could be 6 1-hour treatments... or maybe 8 45-minute treatments... or maybe 2 1-hour treatments, 4 45-minute treats and a few random 15-30 minute "treatments" with folks who weren't feeling up to par that day but needed their 3rd visit for the week.

*Transition time.  Let's just start with time in between each of those 6 or 8 scheduled patients, and in the case of different buildings, 10-20 minutes of drive time and transition time between each building (gathering/putting away belongings, logging out/in computer, etc.).  Some days I have had up to 10 treatments in one day... in 3 different buildings.  On an efficient day, that's 15 minutes just for transition time on the low end, and an hour on the high end.

*Sticking to the appointed schedule.  Once you have made it to the designated part of the building, sometimes you have to actually search for a patient if they are not in their room or a common area.  Hey, maybe they are lost in another resident's room thinking they were at the bus station.  Maybe they are sound asleep, or they forgot they had an appointment, or they went out to lunch, or they had a surprise visitor come from hours away to see them.  So, once you find your person, you still might end up spending up to 10 minutes either figuring out how to reschedule them another time, or convincing them it's a good idea to participate in a session that day even though they're sleepy.  Hopefully you win that battle, but sometimes you don't and you have to cut your losses.  When that happens, then you spend another 5 minutes tracking down a "back up" person who just happens to be available and enjoys therapy so much they will come at the drop of a hat... hoping that you can go back later and get the person you missed.  Locating patients for appointments and managing last minute cancellations or refusals is probably one my the biggest time sucks, and a lot of times, you end up having to reduce a planned 1-hour treatment to 45 minutes in order to stay on track with rest of your 8 hour day schedule.

*Evaluations.  You usually get about one hour to spend with a person new to caseload to review their chart and figure out their case, investigate their prior level of function, and then determine just exactly how they perform every aspect of their self-care and how much assistance they need.  Assess their vital signs, range of motion, strength, fine motor coordination, balance, vision, cognition.  Make sure and look at how they transfer... and not just from the chair, but from the toilet, the shower, the bed, the recliner, the couch, the dining room chair.  Oh, and then call their family to let them know what you thought, and write 4-5 specific and measurable and functional short term and long-term goals.  Don't forget to ask the physical therapist or the speech therapist what their findings were.  Also, check in with nursing staff, day and night shift, to see if they observe anything different.  In an hour.  Oh, and when you're done, make sure you put it all in a giant form... which prints out 6 pages worth of OT jargon when you're all through.  Evals are beasts!  I can handle no more than two in one day.  It seems like no matter how much I type while I'm with the patient, it still takes me about two hours altogether to complete one of these puppies in good detail.  And as picky as medicare is, I'm not sacrificing the detail.

*Daily documentation.  Each of my 6 to 10 treatment sessions daily requires a treatment note explaining what modalities I used, what activities I facilitated and how the patient performed.  I might also state topics of patient education, or a family conference, or an in-service with the nursing staff related specifically to that resident.  "If it's not written down, it didn't happen."  Good daily documentation is a fine art.  I try to include note writing throughout the entire session, so this is usually not a big factor in my productivity.  Except when our computer systems are down.  Like they were last week.  And the beginning of this week.  And ungodly slow and inefficient all the rest of the time.  And you better PRAY TO GOD each time you hit "save" that it actually "saves" the document instead of erases everything completely.  When you get stuck with having to do a short 15 or 30 minute session with someone, it is a little more difficulty to finish the note within the time frame, because it's such a short time... but that being said, it's only a few minutes to quickly type it up, and short sessions are rare.

*Bi-weekly/monthly documentation.  This requires a little more extensive attention compared to the daily documentation.  I am much more efficient with these documents when it is my patient who I have been the primary treating therapist for which I know the ins and outs of the case.

*G-codes.  This is a new coding/documentation section required by medicare in outpatient settings, which, in my book, just means that even AFTER I have written all of the above documentation with exceptional care and detail, I have to write another paragraph of OT jargon....  Just please don't take a quality sample out of one of these.  Once I've gotten through everything above, my creative writing skills are a little worn out.

*Meetings, mandatory in-services, surprise phone calls from a vendor or a family member, screenings, slow computers, slow printers, slow walkers, checking email once a day, answering questions from nursing, being cordial to staff or resident that stops and wants to talk in the hallway......  the list goes on and on and on.

*I am the only occupational therapist at the site, so I can delegate very little.  All OT related questions and issues get directed to me and I make all the decisions and take all calls related to the caseload.

*Our tech systems in place are average, in my opinion.  There are many times I would prefer paper documentation because it doesn't randomly erase work or take ages to load or freeze up.  Slllloooowwwwwww........  My patients require all my patience... after that, I have none left.

*Our patients have busy lives!  And I love it!  I want nothing more than my patients to be active and involved in things that are fun and meaningful to them!  Putting on pants and doing putty exercises aren't that important right this second.  That being said, they're also very independent.  If they choose not to participate, you can only do so much motivation and education and modifying the activity to get them to work along with you.  I could be pulling teeth for a month to get therapy participation, but if it is not meaningful or important to them, they are not really going to get any benefit or change from it.

I know the expectations are in place because of financial strain on the company because of reimbursement and inefficiencies in the overall health care system.  But it stinks that the only way it seems there is to meet my company's expectations, is to do less quality work, more quickly, and do it all with the patient next to me so that I can bill for it.

On that note, I submitted 5 job applications tonight, and I have an interview tomorrow for a weekend per diem position at a Transitional Care Unit in an orthopedic hospital (this was already set up before I got the news today).   Somebody out there needs my hardworking, detail-oriented, passionate, ethical, honest and patient-first OT services and I'm gonna find em.


But not before my *retention bonus* is due to me in 22 days! ;)
I mean hey, our company has to get reimbursed for services... and so does this girl!

Monday, July 8, 2013

kitchen-cleanup-compatible

This weekend, the boy came to visit me for the first time, ever.  Yes, first time ever.  In the year and a half we've known each other, I think he only came to my apartment to hang once or twice (on each occasion we drove there together), and other than that, it has always been me coming to his house, swinging out of my way to visit him on a whim, or planning a trip to see him.  (Heck, I even drove to see him when we had part II of our breakup last fall.)  It's all in the past now, I swear.  But still, him coming to visit me was a HUGE DEAL.  (Such a huge deal it is the one thing some of my friends felt was a make-or-break deal for whether I should give him another chance.)

Anyway, the point is, he came to see me!  JUST to see me.  On a weekend.  With no other plans.  To do whatever we wanted.  Together.

I messed around with my work schedule at the end of last week so I'd have an easy day on Friday and not worry about being stuck there after 6 like I am some nights, or have work hanging over my head for Monday.  (I ran out of that place at 3:00!)  The boy broke away from visiting his family an hour away to drive out to see my house and my city and my life.  I was beside myself all week.  Like the last time he said he was going to visit, which didn't end up working out, I had this faint feeling in the back of my mind that something would come up.  Not because he's a bad guy, but because that's just our luck.  I didn't mention it as an official happening to anyone until the day of (and this was to my roommate).  When 4:00 rolled around and he called to say he was on his way, I hung up the phone and started CRYING.  That's how excited I was and how long I have waited for this.

He got in around 5, and we spent good quality time catching up and chatting about life.  It was so easy and just fun.  I drove him around my neighborhood and gave him a tour of the retirement community where I work.  While I prepped dinner, we snuggled with drinks and watched our favorite show and laughed.  It was the best date we've ever had.  Later that night, we walked uptown to see the nightlife and had a couple drinks out.  After sleeping later than anticipated Saturday morning (he originally said he wanted to be up and at 'em at 8 so he could head home and get to studying for Step 2), we made eggs and bacon and he helped me clean up the kitchen from the night before before saying goodbye for another period of who-knows-how-long.

Looking back, I think the last part was my favorite part of the weekend.  Not the saying goodbye, but cleaning up the kitchen together.  It was an act of service, he was doing something to help me after I had done something for him.  We were working together to accomplish something, and we did it well.  Neither of us needed to take control of the situation, and we took turns with each task.  We didn't step on each others' toes or bump heads or argue about anything.  I thought maybe this was a good illustration of compatibility.  Of course it's not everything... But it felt really good to do something simple together after all the questioning and confusion and ambiguity and uncertainty we have tried to figure out the last several months.

We really do work well together.  There might be some extra large dishes that don't fit in the dishwasher or a sticky crusty pan that needs some extra attention, but if we keep working hard it, eventually we'll get it all right and we'll get to keep cooking and eating and cleaning together for years to come.

:)

Saturday, July 6, 2013

a turning point

6 months of constant questioning, doubt, feeling like all i was doing was waiting for him and wanting something that wasn't there, and justifying that one night together out of a month, two months, or longer, was worth all of that stress and worry and unsureness.  after that, 6 more months of questioning whether it was the right decision to end it all and whether it was possible to be "friends".  we finally figured out it wasn't possible, and then it took two more months of "trying", a lot of tears and heart to hearts with my mom, and yet another cancelled date to make me force myself to declare it wasn't possible to be more than friends either.

it only took another two months of silence, unfriending on facebook, and blocked g-chat for us to realize we can't live without each other.

the silence was broken about a month ago, and we haven't stopped talking since.
two weekends ago, i went out to the coast on a long weekend for a friend's bachelorette celebration. a late night phone convo that weekend led to an invitation to drive just slightly out of my way to see him for a few hours, on my way back home from the beach on the monday after.  i realized, on my drive, that this was the first time i was on my way to see him, with the sole purpose of the trip being to see him.  excluding this particular visit, he and i had seen each other in person a total of 5 times in a year.  two of those times were when we were still "together", and our visits were short, last minute add-ons to a trip for a job interview, and another trip to visit friends.  one of the times was the post-breakup meeting to get my necklace back i had left at his house, and basically to have a real in-person breakup.  the other two times were this winter, and again, were situations where i was in town for other purposes (to visit friends), but managed to include him on my itinerary "as friends" (however on both occasions, we did not behave as such).  but this particular trip, two weeks ago, was different.  the feeling i felt on the 3 hour drive was a combination of excitement to see this guy i am nuts about and missed so much, and nervousness about whether entering back into something that had failed so many times before was the right thing to do.  the nervous feeling-- that was very familiar.  we were so on edge at the end of last summer, i was always so sure we were on the verge of a break up each time we talked or tried to make plans.   that excitement feeling though... that was new.  i loved it.

i got there in the afternoon and left at about 11pm.  we watched our favorite show and snuggled and joked and kissed and talked about serious things and things that made no sense.  we went out for a real dinner date, and chatted about family and careers and goals and flirted and laughed.  i can't even tell you the last time we spent time together outside of his apartment, besides a post-sleepover brunch.  i remembered why we have such a hard time not being in each others' lives.  there is something so comforting and warm and happy about being with him.  it is easy.  and did i mention we hardly see each other and even went weeks without talking to each other?  how can we deny how real our connection is?

i thought i felt that i was in love with him this time last year.  i've never felt that way about anybody before so i wasn't sure, but i knew the level of dedication i felt for him being long distance, after only having dated a few months, must mean something.  because our relationship wasn't perfect and had so many critics, i questioned how legit my feeling was.  because of the "nerves" i never told him how i really felt because i was so scared he didn't feel the same.  i danced around it and waited for him to read my mind.  we gave into the struggles and the criticism and tried to take the easy way out by ending the relationship. more than once  it just turned out that it wasn't as easy as we both hoped.

so, after spending a year and a half on this roller coaster... wondering, questioning and waiting... trying and failing... i finally realized, with certainty, why God has had us doing this to ourselves.

"i love you"

"i love you too."

i have never been more sure.  i don't know why but it is so different this time.  i'm not scared anymore.  i'm not worried.  i'm not on edge.  i know it's not going to be easy, i know we've got a long road ahead with even more, new challenges.  but we are stronger and closer than ever, and now being able to tell him how much i really care, without dancing around it, is a major turning point for us.  it only took us a year and a half to get there, and i'm pretty sure that's nothing compared to forever. <3