planning. scheduling. looking ahead. predicting. time managing...... flexibility, open-mindedness, not committing, spontaneity, procrastination....
i am so conflicted when it comes to planning and being flexible. i like to plan. i hate the unknown. i like knowing what's going to happen and having an itinerary and sticking with it and following through. graduate july 27. take the boards sept 4. start new job oct 23. boom boom boom.
i ALWAYS get myself in trouble planning things. and i always know full well that when i make a plan it's probably not going to end up turning out that way. but i still think it's good to plan ahead. a failure to plan is a plan to fail, after all. but... even the best laid plans often go awry. so what do i do?
the thing is, i just can't help but to plan! it gives me a high. i actually enjoy the act of making a list. it makes me feel better when i plan things out, consider all possible scenarios, strategize how to be the most efficient. it makes me a little batty when i think of a month coming ahead and not knowing where i'm going to be or what i'm going to be doing on a given day, let's say, september 21. AHHHHHH. i just LOVE knowing even though i know i don't actually know. guessing makes me feel better in the mean time. but oh i just LOVE the
feeling when i made a plan and it went just how i thought it would, JUST as i pictured. go me. or i love it when i got to everything on my to-do list
because i followed my schedule. OR even better when i simply predicted something that was out of my control but i couldn't stand being clueless so i just guessed and put all my hopes on it because it made me feel better (see also: me in relationships. haha)... mmm bad. stop doing that.
why do i take it SO HARD when things don't go as planned. i don't like to be wrong, go back on my word, cancel or postpone a plan, or let anyone down. hate it. i tried earlier in august to just not make a plan at all, but then i hated being asked "so what are you doing this month" and saying, "i don't know!" so i make a fake plan and feel badly when it changes and i already told it to someone. AHHHH. "if you want to make God laugh, just make a plan."
it makes me a little anxious just thinking about how i'll make plans in the future. i'm really trying to plan how i will plan?
anyway, this all stems from the fact that i just booked my flights for october to go to LA for my bro#3's wedding... I'll fly out from NC, then stay in LA an extra week and a half, while they are on their honeymoon, to babysit their dog and spend more time with bro#1 who lives in san diego. when bro#3 and wife come back, i'll go to LAS VEGAS for the weekend with friends, then back to NC to get on with real life. well, looking at flight arrangements for all of this is QUITE overwhelming for someone who wants the perfect plan for something that's still a month away. well, i have to say, for the girl who loves to make plans but hates going back on them, booking $450 worth of airfare all over the country is an EXTREME relief because... i can't go back on it! i don't have to be flexible! i get to commit! and there's a schedule! no unknowns! i WILL be sitting in seat 9F at 12:10 pm. no questions asked.
aaaaaaaaaah :)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
a bad start means a good finish?
yay! just got home from taking the NBCOT Exam to become a certified OTR! one more step complete... now more waiting.
it was an hour-and-a-half drive from my parent's house to the testing center...and mixed with a 9am scheduled test, i was getting anxiety last night about being late. so i gave myself 2.5 hours to get there. haha, maybe a bit of a stretch, but there WAS a good bit of rush hour traffic outside of columbus and it never feels good to feel rushed.... and reading back over the conseuqences/procedure if i was late and the $500 cost... yeah no thanks. so i was 30-45 minutes early, got taken care of right away, and got to start before 9 ... much better than waiting. only... just have to say, thank GOD i hadn't completely unpacked my car amidst all the traveling and moving the last month. not only did i need two forms of ID, but two forms of signed ID... and of course my signed credit card was missing because i had it out when i was ordering practice tests the other day. an older man signing in next to me wished me luck and i said, "off to a great start, don't even have the right kind of ID!" to which he responded, "that just means you'll have a good finish!" THANKFULLY for labeling efforts two years ago, i knew exactly where my passport was in a file box in the back of my car. day saved. and THEN as i sit down to take my test... nothing comes up on the screen. did i miss an instruction? is my computer broken? am i just being impatient and the test will pop up in a second? i sat there for a good 10 minutes looking at the home screen clicking around and waiting for something to happen, haha. then as the proctor walked by, i grabbed his attention and we got everything figured out and i was on my way. haha, GREAT start.
looking back at my education i have to say that i appreciate, more than ever, the approach and philosophy of the program i graduated from. the emphasis on theory, clinical reasoning and ethics would have been a lot harder to learn on your own than all the topics and diagnoses and facts and protocols in my study guide. even though our program lacked a lot of formal testing (much more clinical application assignments, writing, problem-based learning, case studies, and critical analysis of research), i am glad i got what i got in the short two year time frame. it's impossible to know everything you need to know for every area of OT at the end of two years, especially when our profession doesn't require specialization. but with facts and evidence and protocols that are always changing anyways, it makes much more sense to teach the process and skills to problem-solve and think through situations. still... in the clinic, i'll totally be able to look up a diagnosis or term or milestone i don't remember or recognize, or ask another therapist, or actually physically see the impairment. but, i guess that's why we don't have to get a perfect score to pass, and why we still require supervision when we first start working, and why we have to continue participating in continuing ed (oh yeah, and also why health services are constantly audited and checked to make sure people are doing their job). anyway, i guess what i'm saying is, even though the test is a pretty big step in becoming a practitioner, it definitely doesn't stand alone in assuring good OT.
here's to the next 40 years of a career in which i'll never stop learning!
p.s. i am on the lookout for OTs/PTs/STs/other rehab professionals or students or interested people whose blogs i can follow! if you're out there, speak up and comment so we can find each other! :)
it was an hour-and-a-half drive from my parent's house to the testing center...and mixed with a 9am scheduled test, i was getting anxiety last night about being late. so i gave myself 2.5 hours to get there. haha, maybe a bit of a stretch, but there WAS a good bit of rush hour traffic outside of columbus and it never feels good to feel rushed.... and reading back over the conseuqences/procedure if i was late and the $500 cost... yeah no thanks. so i was 30-45 minutes early, got taken care of right away, and got to start before 9 ... much better than waiting. only... just have to say, thank GOD i hadn't completely unpacked my car amidst all the traveling and moving the last month. not only did i need two forms of ID, but two forms of signed ID... and of course my signed credit card was missing because i had it out when i was ordering practice tests the other day. an older man signing in next to me wished me luck and i said, "off to a great start, don't even have the right kind of ID!" to which he responded, "that just means you'll have a good finish!" THANKFULLY for labeling efforts two years ago, i knew exactly where my passport was in a file box in the back of my car. day saved. and THEN as i sit down to take my test... nothing comes up on the screen. did i miss an instruction? is my computer broken? am i just being impatient and the test will pop up in a second? i sat there for a good 10 minutes looking at the home screen clicking around and waiting for something to happen, haha. then as the proctor walked by, i grabbed his attention and we got everything figured out and i was on my way. haha, GREAT start.
looking back at my education i have to say that i appreciate, more than ever, the approach and philosophy of the program i graduated from. the emphasis on theory, clinical reasoning and ethics would have been a lot harder to learn on your own than all the topics and diagnoses and facts and protocols in my study guide. even though our program lacked a lot of formal testing (much more clinical application assignments, writing, problem-based learning, case studies, and critical analysis of research), i am glad i got what i got in the short two year time frame. it's impossible to know everything you need to know for every area of OT at the end of two years, especially when our profession doesn't require specialization. but with facts and evidence and protocols that are always changing anyways, it makes much more sense to teach the process and skills to problem-solve and think through situations. still... in the clinic, i'll totally be able to look up a diagnosis or term or milestone i don't remember or recognize, or ask another therapist, or actually physically see the impairment. but, i guess that's why we don't have to get a perfect score to pass, and why we still require supervision when we first start working, and why we have to continue participating in continuing ed (oh yeah, and also why health services are constantly audited and checked to make sure people are doing their job). anyway, i guess what i'm saying is, even though the test is a pretty big step in becoming a practitioner, it definitely doesn't stand alone in assuring good OT.
here's to the next 40 years of a career in which i'll never stop learning!
p.s. i am on the lookout for OTs/PTs/STs/other rehab professionals or students or interested people whose blogs i can follow! if you're out there, speak up and comment so we can find each other! :)
Monday, September 3, 2012
my "medical life" debut!
confession: i've already been "secretly" following some of the blogs on this link up. i'm new at the blog thing, so i've been slow to try to publicize (not to mention i'm still trying to figure out how everything works...), BUT i figure it's time to become an official follower and link up to this lovely blog community, sooo here we go!
i'm participating in my first 'medical mondays' blog hop and have linked up with yall! (i don't think i have any loyal followers yet outside of the link up but here is the "button" link in case anyone does stumble across my blog from the outside world!)
my story:
i am a soon-to-be* occupational therapist dating a third-year medical student long-distance. like all relationships, we've got our good times and hard times... but i've discovered that finding support and encouragement through those hard times has shown to be difficult because of the lack of insight from my close friends about what medical life is like.
i'm not a super confident writer, but sometimes (when i force myself) it becomes a good outlet for me to process thoughts and feelings; not just about my dating life, but my transition to being an autonomous healthcare provider, moving to a new city and adopting a new way of life as an independent adult after knowing only the student life, making progress on my goals, and just being a 20-something. so, i decided to start this blog... just last week. :)
i'm still getting the hang of things, refining my writing style, and learning to find the balance between being a good producer of writing/stories, as well as a good follower and supporter of others' blogs! that being said, those of you who are stumbling across this today: i would appreciate any feedback or suggestions on how to improve my writing, blog style, tips for ease of use... or even dating advice, work advice, moving advice, and useless advice!
i'm really excited to make my official "debut" today, getting my blog out there, and opening up to a new community as i go through all the adventures of this next year! thanks for having me!
*"soon-to-be": see also, taking my board exam TOMORROW. clearly i'm being very studious and productive this morning. :)
i'm participating in my first 'medical mondays' blog hop and have linked up with yall! (i don't think i have any loyal followers yet outside of the link up but here is the "button" link in case anyone does stumble across my blog from the outside world!)
my story:
i am a soon-to-be* occupational therapist dating a third-year medical student long-distance. like all relationships, we've got our good times and hard times... but i've discovered that finding support and encouragement through those hard times has shown to be difficult because of the lack of insight from my close friends about what medical life is like.
i'm not a super confident writer, but sometimes (when i force myself) it becomes a good outlet for me to process thoughts and feelings; not just about my dating life, but my transition to being an autonomous healthcare provider, moving to a new city and adopting a new way of life as an independent adult after knowing only the student life, making progress on my goals, and just being a 20-something. so, i decided to start this blog... just last week. :)
i'm still getting the hang of things, refining my writing style, and learning to find the balance between being a good producer of writing/stories, as well as a good follower and supporter of others' blogs! that being said, those of you who are stumbling across this today: i would appreciate any feedback or suggestions on how to improve my writing, blog style, tips for ease of use... or even dating advice, work advice, moving advice, and useless advice!
i'm really excited to make my official "debut" today, getting my blog out there, and opening up to a new community as i go through all the adventures of this next year! thanks for having me!
*"soon-to-be": see also, taking my board exam TOMORROW. clearly i'm being very studious and productive this morning. :)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)